Abigail M. Schilling

My biggest apprehension wasn't that I wouldn't make any friends, or have a good time, but that a conference for women would stress the women thing too much. My views on gender are non-traditional, and I was so worried that one thousand women--no matter how successful--would want to talk about the differences between men and women. I was worried that comments about maternal instinct, or emotional women, or things like that would rub me the wrong way and that I would often feel awkward like I do at weddings and bridal showers. Well, none of that happened. No awkwardness and inappropriate comments. Closest thing we got was GIRL POWER, and I can support that.

One of my very favorite parts of the conference schedule was the Community Keynote on Friday night. Twenty bloggers read posts out loud. It was fun and moving and a great introduction to great writing. In fact, I'm printing out all the posts and putting them in my car for long red lights and impatient back-seat drivers. You can read them here. Go. Now.

I got to spend some quality time with some really cool people...

Leahpeah & Joe and Lori (who took this picture)

Photo by avocadoh (home of the best iphone travelogues ever!)

Sarah & Cecily (who was too busy networking to be photographed)

Stephanie Klein who is charming and down to earth and totally unassuming. The freaking keynote speaker was at the newbie mixer. How cool is that? She is brilliant. Also, her kid is named after me, so there's that. Simon and Leah are very, very cool. In fact, I'm still giggling about Simon's remark when Dooce entered the room we were in. Everyone noticed her at of the sides of their eyes. She was with friends, but people were going up to her and she was, of course, lovely and gracious to everyone. I was acting too cool or something to talk to her. Not too cool in the obnoxious way, but I just felt like I didn't want to be just another person acting like they knew her. I feel bad for her, and I thought I could maybe earn her favor by not meeting her? I never did meet meet her, but I felt like being in the same room was enough to brag about it. But Simon? Simon goes, "OH MY GOD, THAT'S DOOCE. I don't know anybody in blogging, but I know Dooce. I'm totally going to go say hi, you know why? Because I'm a starfucker." Five minutes later she was laughing at his jokes and he was taking pictures of her and her friends for her. Leah was all, "I'm so embarassed."

Holly was British and she even remembered that we were reading the same book (probably because I hostile-y called her a stalker on goodreads) and her Sean said he would fix my site code. I had a terrifying experience at an establish called "Lefty" O'Douls with Whoorl, Moose, Schnozz, Kerrianne, and some new friends. I talked Roller Coaster Tycoon with Sarah Brown and danced something fierce with Maggie. And now I am way tired of hyperlinking. And I know I've forgotten people.

I was assigned three sessions to liveblog and the sessions I was assigned are sessions I don't think I would have picked. I think I was allowed to pick two sessions, but maybe I didn't? I can't remember; it was a long time ago and I've had a lot of my mind eaten by Clusterz since then. Perhaps because I'm always behind the curve, I found myself learning something in each session. Even the introversion one. Really. A couple things I learned:

introversion - Always keep your expression open. This seems like a no-brainer, but since I heard that phrasing, I keep catching myself closed in.
writing workshop - Inspiration is in everything. This too seems like a no-brainer, but I never thought to do a random search of a blog for a random word.
women without children - I'm not ready to be part of this hot topic issue. There are so many emotions. (But I really love the belief that there is no such thing as a hormonal urge for children.)

I also attended a DIY Content Syndication and Promotion which was packed and full of some less patient bloggers. I don't remember a whole lot from it... thankfully, that's what the liveblogs are for. The final breakout session I attended was on turning your blog into a book. Don't read too much into that. Mostly I just need motivation. (The rest of the liveblogs are available here.)

And now, for some links to people who say things better than me...

Leah says: I think the most significant difference between this conference and years past has been that I came away almost unmanageably inspired to be a better blogger, writer, friend, and mother. I love what I do here, and I love that it sometimes involves little more than telling the story about that one time the kitten pooped on his own shoulder, but being around people who regularly do more with their websites, and more with their lives, is hard to ignore and not at least make me question whether I can do more, be more.

Sarah says: Before I go into my own experience, let me just say that I really believe any large gathering of people is just a reflection of humanity and that bloggers are no more elitist or snobby or wonderful or friendly than any other cross-section of humanity. There is good and bad, always.

Cecily says: Do you know how awesome it was to never have to apologize for opening my laptop and starting to type while talking to someone? I didn't realize that at home I'm always saying sorry for cracking open the laptop to check my email.

Stephanie says: Until, that is, you aren’t. Until those moments where you connect immediately to someone you’ve read before. To someone who just gets it, with whom you share all the unspokens. And then it all changes. Your outlook, your enjoyment, and what you get out of it all. What I was reminded of most at my first BlogHer experience, at the most basic level, is what it’s like to go about making brand new friends, without relying on insincerity, or flattery, without bonding over mean girl moments. How fragile all of us can be, how nervous, how eager we are to be liked. And how ridiculously satisfying it is to connect with strangers who are now suddenly so much more.

I can't wait til next year.

More BlogHer entries here.