we don't serve bread
You've seen Garden State, right? Remember this?
On my way back from the airport yesterday morning (my second time in 24 hours) I stopped to get gas. I was tired and hungry and so I started the gas and went into McDonald's to try their new Iced Coffee. Get thee to McDonald's straight away to get this new Iced Coffee. It is delicious and from heaven and practically free. I called Heather to tell her about it because she is far far away from Starbucks. After trying it once I think she went back four times yesterday.
ANYWAY.
I got my coffee and got back in my car and drove away. Well, I drove away until I heard a noise, a very bad noise and I realized--omg--I HAD NOT TAKEN THE GAS PUMP OUT OF MY CAR. I got as far as the gas station exit and threw my car in park. I jumped out of the car and pulled the nozzle out of my car and dropped it on the ground. I did a quick scan for security cameras, ran back to the machine and made sure it wasn't in some sort of alarm-sounding state, and then got back in my car and drove away. I fled the scene.
This probably wasn't the right thing to do. But I was scared and tired and if they need to find me they can. The machine knows my credit card number, my billing address, and my first grade teacher's last name. Also, my NAME is on my license plate.
(thanks to Dodds for the stellar photoshop job)
Comments
omfg, abs. was gas still coming out of the hose?
No, thank God. Can you imagine? It would have been like Zoolander.
Posted by: kat | May 7, 2008 10:01 AM
That picture! I can't stop giggling.
I know. Heather is an evil genius. Did you see her Jason Castro work?
Posted by: Jennie! | May 7, 2008 10:04 AM
Abigail! You drove off?! Well that was probably smart...
My friend did that once, before Garden State, and it always bugged me because the pump doesn't rip off like that. Anyway, there's some magical metal clip that holds it together and it can't touch the ground. So my friend paid $90 to fix.
Yeah... someone else told me a story where they had to pay for a fix. I really hope they don't find me. And I'm pretty sure that metal clip touched the ground.
Posted by: Emily | May 7, 2008 11:13 AM
Being tired and caffeine-depraved should be an excuse in court.
I think it counts. Kat?
Posted by: heather anne | May 7, 2008 11:56 AM
amazing. simply amazing.
don't tease me about my hobbies.
Posted by: ryan schaffner | May 7, 2008 12:37 PM
I will buy you a sugar free vanilla iced coffee at mcdonalds next time i'm in LA if you post a picture of you and the ripped off nozzle.
can you not see the picture above? how about i take a picture of the heather-shaped hole in the bushes that would have happened if you had been with me at the scene of the crime and i asked you to take a picture.
Posted by: heather nicole | May 7, 2008 4:06 PM
turns out i skipped over the part where you threw the nozzle on the ground. the bush thing would be cool too though.
Posted by: heather nicole | May 7, 2008 4:36 PM
Thanks for making my day. This will be definitely brought up in sharing time with my kids tomorrow :)
Maybe when I'm in prison, your kids can send me cards.
Posted by: jeni | May 7, 2008 5:50 PM
Wait, did it actually rip off like that? Is that even possible?
No, not like in the picture. It ripped off at the end of th hose where the hose attaches to the machine.
Posted by: doahleigh | May 8, 2008 5:34 AM
You ACTUALLY ripped the hose off? Abigail! I can't believe you drove off. Of course, they have cameras everywhere! Plus, it COULD be like The Birds!
When you told me the story, for some reason, I thought maybe you tweaked it, but that it was already laying on the ground (the part that goest into your car) with the everything still attached. ...
Have they contacted you yet? Good thing it was Long Beach and far from where you live...
The Birds? Did you just make a cultural reference then I don't get? THE SKY IS FALLING.
Haven't heard from them yet.
Posted by: Sally | May 8, 2008 5:55 AM
http://www.filminamerica.com/Movies/TheBirds/
This "The Birds" ---- scroll down to the gas station fire scene. Seems a bird swooped down and hit the attendant in the head, killing him. He dropped the hose and the hose kept pumping gas. Then someone lit a match and KABOOM.
Good thing there's that shut off switch. Thank you EPA.
Posted by: Sally | May 8, 2008 8:36 AM
That is SO crazy! I can't imagine that happening, but at the same time, I can totally see myself doing that. Eh, it's a good way to get back at the horror of gas prices anyway.
I have loved McDs espresso coffees for a while now, but I'm always afraid to ask for them. So many times we've been at one that doesn't make them. I try to stay with my hometown MD. Glad to hear they are branching out finally!
Yeah, I didn't even know their full extent of coffee deliciousness until they started up with the (annoying) commercials.
Posted by: anne | May 9, 2008 2:01 PM
Sorry I haven't been around here sooner but I've been lazy about getting around to visiting blogs this last week, and anyway I wanted to say it was great to meet you last Saturday. You put my drinking skills to shame.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me!
Posted by: vahid | May 10, 2008 9:55 AM
Is it wrong that I am secretly treasuring the fact that this happened to someone in real life?
No, because then you might have to feel guilty about mocking me and the whole world would collapse from guilt on account of everyone mocks me. Welcome!
Posted by: Shamelessly Sassy | May 10, 2008 12:23 PM