Abigail M. Schilling

[spoilers]

I'm an American Idol first-timer. Before this season I had never seen an episode and I was even (maybe) a little bit pretentious about the whole thing. I even thought I hated Ryan Seacrest.

Well, false.

This show is awesome, Ryan is awesome, and I haven't missed in episode in several months. Also, show? The way you have stretched this thing out for like.. a year? And we all still watch? Truly remarkable.

Being a newbie means I'm blind to what sets this season apart from others. So maybe it's just the way people are or maybe it's the slipping ratings, but everyone is all up in Idol's business saying that it's trying too hard... or something. To me it's just how the show is and I digest shows-that-try-too-hard on a regular basis (ahem, Tyra).

Tuesday night, all three contestants performed as expected, in my opinion. Syesha performed three songs that were very Syesha, PAULA. Don't give her shit about who she is or isn't because she sang the exact same stuff she's been singing for the last few weeks and you've loved it. Likewise, Randy and Simon were both like, "meh, Syesha, way to ruin it for yourself!"

And I call shenanigans.

I'm not music expert (duh) but I do think I am an American Idol Season 7 expert and I know when there's an inconsistency. I also know that Syesha never had a chance getting to the final two and neither did anybody else but the Davids. For at least four weeks it's been pretty clear who was going to the top. Everybody knew Syesha was going home.

And rather than her go home because somebody had to, I feel like the judges played it like she was going home because she just wasn't good enough last night.

False.

Mark Harris over at Entertainment Weekly wrote a really great article about Idol and what's wrong with it (#6 = mosh pit). He says:

The problem is that this year, more than ever, Idol seems to view itself as a worn-out machine. You can hear the cynicism when Simon Cowell, in a tone of bored royalty, praises a contestant's ''smart'' song choice after they caterwaul about God or America in order to avoid weepily waving farewell while Ruben Studdard ominously ''celebrates'' them home. Simon isn't complimenting them; he's announcing that he thinks the show's phoning and texting voters are dull, easily herded sheep who listen half-attentively for ''values'' buzzwords, and he's congratulating the singers for realizing they can game the system. And the system — rather than a fun alternative to it — is what American Idol now represents.

David Cook is my favorite contestant. Of all the contestants, he's the one that I'd hang out with (or make out with), and he sings the songs most like the music I listen to (which is not Rock, by the way, I don't get the genre definitions that Idol delegates). I could tell he was going to make it pretty far (never once in the bottom three or two or whatever) and that's what I cared about. That I would get to see him on TV. That I would see him look at me through the magical box and that I might get to hear more stories from him. I didn't care about him winning because I didn't think winning mattered. If he's going to make music that gets on the radio then it will get on the radio if he's in first place or fourth. I might not have ever watched Idol before but I do listen to the radio.

For me the first timer, the show is a machine. One million kajillion votes determines a winner and the winner is only that. So I can tune in and nod along with Ryan and judge the songs and judge the judges but it's not actually going to determine what music I end up listening to. And that's fine with me, because I still enjoy the show. So give Syesha a break already. We all knew she was going home. She went home. And it wasn't because of her song choice, SIMON, or because she was "just alright," RANDY. That's is who she is. AND IT DOESN'T MATTER.

Now, does anyone have Ryan's number? I'd like to talk to him about some things.