Abigail M. Schilling

This is Jennie. I've hijacked so many computers today, it's not even funny. Actually. It was only two computers. SO FAR. Who knows where I might strike next? It could be your computer. Or your husband's. Or your mom's. Or your kid's. Because, really? Your kids don't need a computer. Tell them to go outside and play. They could play school. Or they could pretend to be pirates. Yes. Pirates. Tell them to be pirates. Or ninjas. When I was little, I used to pretend I was Peter Pan. I would jump off the jungle gym on the playground and would get so PISSED OFF when I just fell down and hurt myself. Also, there was this one jungle gym that looked sort of like a rocket. So. We'd pretend it was a rocket. But it never went to space. It was very disappointing. So maybe you shouldn't take away your kid's computer, because think of how disappointed they'll be when their rocket ship just sits there like . . . a broken rocket ship.