Abigail M. Schilling

America's Next Top Model
Wednesdays, The CW, 8/7c
10/10

Victoria was annoying me especially throughout this episode. I suppose that's the idea of the editing. Save all the annoying bits so we're not sad to see her go. Also, I mean, I understand that smart people like the library or whatever, but is she just playing that up?

When they arrive at the salon (Ken Paves, per the usual) we have the fearsome threesome of Miss J, Mr. Jay, and Tyra there to explain--with horrifying videos--the makeovers (read: hair cuts). It's always annoyed me how the hair cuts/weaves are called makeovers. When I think makeover, I think new clothes, new makeup, new hair. A couple cycles back I remember one of the Jays trying to get a little of this by telling the models what their new "look" was going to be. Someone was very upset about being told to change. What happened to that? Weaves all around is just lazy. Oh, and Mr. J is totally wearing the same shirt from panel last week. Victoria is going to be a smart blonde. Oh, shut up, Victoria.

Oh, and Jenah's new hair cut isn't as edgy as she is. You're right, Jenah, but it's way hotter.

Bianca, who was a total bitch in the previous two house episodes has made me like her in this episode. When they decide that her hair is too damaged to repair (Tyra: "This is the best thing that could have happened to you") and they MUST shave it off, she is visible upset. Apparently, her mother told her every day that short hair was ugly. My mother told me every day that I looked like a ragamuffin and I still don't brush my hair. Anyway, she didn't make a big deal of it. She cried silent tears. Also, she looks hot bald.

And my all time favorite part of this episode is when Twitty ("Twiggles" to Tyra) is all, "Victoria, very interesting that you're a cactus since cacti are so prickly!" And Victoria is all "I'm NOT prickly." Utterly convincing.

Private Practice
Wednesdays, ABC, 9/8c
10/10

Okay, I'm dropping this one because I just don't have the time or energy to write so much. I'm probably going to have to drop another one too. But I haven't decided what yet. Cast your votes!

(I am watching the show though, and I love it.)

Gossip Girl
Wednesdays, The CW, 9/8c
10/10

This show keeps getting better and better. This week:

-Chuck is a dictator in his little land of Party
-renewed BFFs Serena and Blair entertain a photo shoot plot
-an old friend shows up to Chuck's party, he's a tree-hugger now and maybe more!
-Dan can't decide whether or not Serena is worth "it"
-Blair's mom is a bitch

Quotes:
Chuck on tree-hugger Carter: "He looks like Matthew McConaughey between movies."
Chuck on his Party Crawl: "5 boroughs, 50 pubs, 500 chances to get laid."
Blair's mom to Serena and how she is destined to steal everyone's spot light: "You can't even help it, it's who you are."
Blair to Dan: "Normally, I wouldn't get this close to you without a tetanus shot." (What would she do if Ryan Atwood was around?!)
Gossip Girl when Blair and Serena steal Blair's mom's wears: "Who doesn't love a five-finger discount ... especially when one of the fingers in the middle one?"

Favorite parts:
During Chuck's party, Nate--with help from Carter--decides he is over all this rich kid stuff. Thanks to Carter, he's realized he needs to do something new with his life. Chuck, in an impressive turn, calls his bluff, saying that he is always talking about going out West but then what? Huh, Nate? You think you're pretty enough to say whatever you want? Cause you are. Hang on, I got carried away.

Anyway, Nate doesn't listen to Chuck and ditches the pub crawl to go hang out with Carter at some poker game. Never mind that Carter doesn't believe in money and has spent the past couple years doing Katrina relief. Turns out Carter is actually screwing Nate over for his Money. Chuck swoops in and saves the day.

But not for long. Nate's dad has cleared his trust fund. Guess he should have tried a little harder for Dartmouth.

Oh, and when Dan is talking to his dad about what "to do" about Serena (she is so rich! he is so poor!) Rufus reveals that he once dated a girl like that (clever, Ruf) and his advice is to "jump in with both feet." Dan is all, "and what happened to her?" since clearly his mom is not the Serena type. Rufus: "I swam for a while ... til I drowned." Dan: "Well, thanks, that was a great story dad."

The Office
Thursdays, NBC, 9/8c
10/11

1. The opening with the DVD square is perhaps my favorite opening ever. For the record.

2. I really sensed a return to the norm in Launch Party. The episode didn't seem to go too long and the relationships I love (Dwight/Jim, Dwight/Andy, Michael/Camera, Jim/Michael) were back. I love relationships as much as the next person, but not at the expense of Jim taking care of Michael.

3. Quotes:
Jim about Dwight: "He's also being super annoying, I'm not a perfect person."
Darrell to Dwight: "Start selling multiple reams like a man." (I love Darrell too. So glad he'll be on more this season. Darrell and Kelly... hmmm.)
Kevin: "Alfredo's Pizza Cafe or Pizza by Alfredo?"
Kevin: "It's like eating a hot circle of garbage."
Andy to Angela: "If you're looking for dinner and a movie, you're not going to find it in that box." Smooooooth, Andy.
Andy on mixing business with pleasure: "Really. Well then explain to me how a putt-putt golf company operates."
Pizza Delivery Kid about Dwight: "Yeah, I know that guy, he's the farmer with the really crappy weed."
Michael to PDK: "I'm an adult. I don't have to think or do anything."
Andy about the thing made of ice: "I stole it."
Michael about Dwight: "This is the guy that beat the computer."

4. Could I possibly love Andy more? The answer is no. Although, it's unclear to me why he wore jeans the entire episode. Casual Friday?

5. Jim admits what we've all assumed: he removed his name from consideration for the promotion.

6. Michael's list for a better, awesomer party includes beer, lite beer, pizza, pizza with mushrooms, pizza without mushrooms. The writers are brilliant. BRILLIANT.

7. I feel like the kidnapped Pizza Delivery Kid makes some Jim faces. I was certain he actually looked AT the camera, but on rewatch I was wrong. But doesn't this look Jim-ish?

Also, he reminds of Warren from Empire Records. Except this kid is being kidnapped for no reason.

Grey's Anatomy
Thursdays, ABC, 9/8c
10/11

I know I say this every damn week but I am in LOVE with Cristina. I think she steals the show every single week and also, she steals my heart every single week. Let's go over some of the awesomeness we were gifted this week:

1. Bull shitting to get Meredith to talk / steal her surgeries / punish her for keep secret sex secrets. I mean, that shit is brilliant, not only can Sandra Oh pull off cold, black heart, she can pull of caricature of cold, black heart. That is talent. Talent and genius. Dr. Yang, will you marry me? I mean, um, I love you just the way you are.

2. Quote: "I'm not Izzie, I'm not going to lie on the bathroom floor all day, I'm going to lie here on the counter."

3. Quote: "Sad is mine, go find your own pretend emotions."

4. Quote: When Izzie tries to help Really Old Guy kill himself because she's mad at him for wanting to kill himself (more on that later), Cristina is all, "couldn't find his el-vad wire?" Buuuuuuuurn.

Alright, the voice-over slash theme of this episode is Truth with a capital T. Just kidding, we're not that deep, just your average truth. Also, in addition to truth, the phrase "age is not a number" is uttered at least three times by three different characters (writers, stop phoning it in). I kinda thought we weren't going to find out someone was lying about their age. Which kinda happened when Derek said, "I am young, I am a fetus." Derek, you liar. Aside from that, all the truths were not about age.

Speaking of age, I was not buying the Richard GIlmore thing mostly because he was making Karev look good. And Addison is the only who has ever made that convincing. And Richard Gilmore knows what he's doing. He has years of experience in the insurance business. (I hope he stays on and I hope his character becomes more likable. Age is just a number.)

Also speaking of age, we are suddenly reminded of Really Old Guy who I had forgotten even though he's been in this season at least once already (right?). I guess that's the point. Izzie tells her interns that his name is Really Old Guy and they're all, "Crazy cow lady, you are seriously in charge of us? That smart intern George is even better than you!" She's all "shut it!" and then Really Old Guy wakes up and everyone round the world say, "huh?" Because, really? This isn't Scrubs.

Apparently, Really Old Guy returns so that Izzie can learn his real name and also be crazy some more. I'm so tired of her. Izzie hears for the first time, from the lips of Really Old Guy, that married guys never leave their wives. Dude, even I know that, and I'm all naive and shit. I've known that since the first time I saw When Harry Met Sally ("He's never going to leave her!") and I didn't even know what adultery was then! Get a clue, Izzie. (Get a clue, George.)

And poor Callie. She doesn't have any clues because her character was flushed down the drain and she left to sit around and mope about who she could have been. Remember when she was breaking up with George ions ago because he was being a jerk boyfriend? WHERE IS THAT NOW? WRITERS, WHAT DID YOU DO TO CALLIE?

Ahem.

I love Meredith and Lexie. I think they're doing really well with their sister slash fucked up family story and I definitely like Lexie better when she's talking and not staring at Mer from across the room. I might have cried when Lexie cried about the hiccups. (I also cried back when the hiccups happened.)

The Meredith family issues are so much more believable with Lexie than with her dysfunctional relationship with Derek. I understand why it's hard for her to be in a relationship or whatever, but instead of repeating that fact all the fucking time, why can't she show it like she does with Lexie? Oh, right, because when she shows it Derek gets all, "I met a woman in a bar."

Miranda is my hero. Sloan corrupted Chief. Derek yelled. And Alex is an ass.

Meredith: "We tell the truth because we owe them at least that much."

I totally agree with this.