I've never been one to settle into a long embrace.

I don't like candle-lit dinners or rose petals.

But I feel it, sometimes, I swear. When we laying on the tennis courts, spring's leaves twisting our hair, and a regular ol' night sky masking all offending dirts and bugs, I feel as though there is no greater force that could come between us, just two regular ol' people, lying on a tennis court.

And if I were given the option to spend every minute of every day doing that with you, I would.

***

"I want to eat star fruit with you," I said. I was even-toned and standing straight. You were lighting the burner on the grill and my eyes were fixed on your task because I couldn't think of anything better to watch.

It was the most romantic thing I have ever said.

There is nothing significant about star fruit. It's not your favorite food. It's not the one thing I've never tried. And so you continued to click click click the propane tank, oblivious to my declaration.

Eventually you turned out around, looked at me, and said, "star fruit, hmm?"

I nodded and you went into action because we only ever promised that we would try to make each other happy. And just like that our friends were picking up star fruit at the grocery store on their way over.

And it was not the most romantic you have ever done.

***

When you're gone I spend a lot of time alone. Not because I'm heartsick but because I want to know my life without you. That sounds like a horrible thing to say, but I feel as though it's the most respectful, for both of us.

You are there and I am here and that is not romantic. The distance between us is not laced with pink champagne and strawberries. It is not lined with daisies or made of sand.

The distance between us is ours to own. We own almost the whole world in miles. And I'm not sure if I would give up the whole world just to have you here. I'm not an opportunist, after all.

Letters, Volume i
Letter to a Traveling Lover (part I)
Letter to a Traveling Lover (part II)
Letter to a Traveling Lover (part III)
Letter to a Traveling Lover (part IV)
Letter to a Traveling Lover (part V)
Letter to a Traveling Lover (part VI)

Letters, Volume ii
Letter to a Traveling Lover (part I)
Letter to a Traveling Lover (part II)