Abigail M. Schilling

Gooooooood morning, world! This morning I left my phone in the dining room instead of tucked in the crevice of my neck. My phone is my alarm and I like to keep it under my pillow at night. I also like it to go off at exactly the same time every morning even though I still make the ultimate decision of when I get up. I don't know why I do this. It's like I have some sort of wager with time.

Anyway, I left it in the dining room and on vibrate and this morning when I was in a deep, deep sleep because I went to bed too late, I dreamt that I worked in some fancy office with an old-school buzzer. Bzzzz. Bzzz. Bzzzz. For about ten minutes until I finally realized it was my phone. And then I completed a half-asleep search to find it bzzzing it's way off the dining room table. Back to reality, I crawled into bed and shoved it into the crevice.

There is this Friends episode where Rachel has been working at the coffee shop for two years and her manager approaches her and asks her if she remembers how when she started, one of the other servers trained her and showed her around. Rachel responds, "Yeah, do you want me to help someone new?" and the manager tells her no, he wants her to take the training again.

I feel that way so often. Parallel parking, for example. I suck. Calling people back. I suck. Getting out of bed. Suck suck suck.

The end.