Abigail M. Schilling

It's a problem. A very, very serious problem that has actually cost me money over the years as I have rented storage space, U-Hauls, and able bodies to help me move around All My Stuff.

I've tried to study this, er, syndrome over the past 5 years (the amount of years I am currently packing with me, thank you, Sally, for footing the rest) and I've developed a two-pronged theory:

One: I have a lot of stuff because I am very sentimental and cannot get rid of things that hold sentimental value.

a) I'm notorious for saving cards and letters. Every note or letter I get goes into a pile and at the end of the year I box them all up. If I've printed any emails or instant message conversations those get thrown in too. Plus anything else that reminds me of something funny and/or sweet (unless it's a picture cause those go in the picture box).

And the boy stuff? It could have it's own storage unit. When my friends go through break up and delete all the emails, I crumble. WHY would you do that? I say. Well, they say, we broke up. Why would I ever want to read that stuff again? And I will try to come up with scenarios in which it would be totally healthy to be reading emails from old boyfriends but I've got nothing. So I don't read emails from old boyfriends, but I don't delete them either because I can't. It's impossible.

b) A co-worker moved away a couple years ago. (Hi, co-worker! Sorry I never called you back last month, I would have loved to hang out when you were in town but I was in Georgia. You probably figured that out from this here website. Sorry I suck at emailing. Love, Abigail.) When she moved her and her roommate got rid of all their furniture. I gained several pieces including her roommate's childhood dresser. I'm not particularly close with her roommate--I think I met the girl two or three times.

Yet, I've felt guilt whenever I've thought of getting rid of the wobbly, particle board, 25 year old dresser. Because! This dresser was an important part of her life. Never mind the fact that she GOT RID of the dresser already. Never mind that she made her peace with it, that she moved away years ago, that she probably has not thought about the dresser since. I still have guilt. And even when I finally demolished it (yesterday) I saved the knobs because they had birdhouses on them and how cute! Maybe they were important to her childhood! Yes, there are bird house knobs in my house right now. Seven of them. Does anybody want them?

c) Sally encourages this behavior by sending me cute trinkets and knick knacks: saucer-sized ceramic hearts, stuffed animals, things I gave her when i was a small child, earrings that neither of us would ever wear, and lots of very small, smaller-than-a-mouse sized things.

My first year of college she sent me 11 stuffed raccoons. They were Valentine's raccoons ("love bandits") that she got on clearance after the holiday and thought I would enjoy. Why so many? "To give to friends!" I, of course, couldn't tolerate the idea that the bandits would be separated (not after such a long, cross-country journey) and did not give any away. My friends would steal them and I would steal them back. They were a college staple (straight through to the advent of the blogs, this post of Heather's gives a raccoon nod) and after all those memories how was I supposed to get rid of the raccoons?

And those pocket things? Sal always that the reason she sends them is so I have something to remind me of her. Coin shaped knacks to go in my pocket or my wallet or my dashboard or my kitchen drawer. So when I see them I will think of her. And how I am supposed to trash something like that? I can hear her screaming in my head when I consider the idea, begging me to keep her spirit alive.

d) If I ever do get rid of clothes (which I don't) it's very important to me that it stays in the family. Even though that shirt hasn't fit me since I was in junior high it obviously meant something to me in junior high and I should keep it in the family. Which is why I forced Heather to take my camo shirt from Oregon (circa 1997) and Alisa to take every skirt I ever owned (circa 2000 - 2002). I just put a shirt into the give-away pile (yesterday, miracle of miracles) that I wore for my passport picture (1999) and my first driver's license picture (2001) and haven't worn since 2003 but have kept with me all this time because of it's importance. And there it is in the give-away. Heather, want another shirt?

Two: I have a lot of stuff because I believe that I will always be able to use something again.

The scary thing is, I'm often right about this. After moving again I found a lot of stuff that I had put in storage after moving out of the dorms 18 months ago. Stuff that we had never needed in our big houses because we had so much stuff already. But here in the little house? I put up the roman blinds that we bought for $10 from IKEA in 2004. Every time I moved them I'd tell myself that I should just throw them away, but I couldn't bring myself to do it and now they're being put to use! And the two beds I had that no one knew about? Now we have a guest bed. The shoe rack thing? Is going in our new fridge freezer to make more shelving. The old small night stand? On the front porch as a flower box. I haven't used any of that stuff since college. I should be on TV.