Nice Greek girls who don't find a husband, work in the family restaurant.
A friend of mine comes from a big family. A big, fun family. A big, fun, matching family. A big, fun, matching family that does stuff together.
Most recently they took some family portraits because the only existing recent family portraits are two-years-old and that makes them both not recent and outdated. Both.
So, the mom of the big, fun, matching family, let's call her Mom, sets a date for the family portrait. And she hires a photographer and instructs the family on the importance of this shoot. (I like to imagine her also throwing a few Tyra-isms around as well. Things like, "you need to work it" and "commit to the shot.")
And then Mom bought the whole family matching outfits so they would look top notch for the shoot. When I got this information, I immediately perked up and said that i would be in the shoot if I got free clothes. My friend shot me the death glare.
She then wove me a yarn about the importance of the portrait and how she was instructed to wear her hair down for the picture. Apparently, this is what happened when she showed up at the family shoot. I mean, the big, fun, matching family that does stuff together shoot.
Mom: Uh, I thought you were going to wear your hair down.
My friend: It is down, Mom.
Mom: But the bangs are pulled back.
My friend: Well, the picture is at the beach. They'd be blowing everywhere.
Mom: But I thought everyone would get to see you in the picture.
My friend: Mom, I'm still going to be in the picture.
Mom: But people won't really know what you look like. Not with your new haircut.
Oh, family.
Comments
The last time my family had a portrait made, my sister and I were wearing matching Christmas bear sweaters. I salvaged the 8 x 10 in my carnage of my parents' divorce. I keep it in a desk drawer in my bedroom. It helps me remember that no matter how cute it appears to be at the time… matching sweaters, never okay.
Posted by: heather anne | November 14, 2006 6:27 AM
That picture sounds FIERCE.
Posted by: Jennie | November 14, 2006 7:12 AM
Family portraits are a huge PITA. I was in charge of getting my 5 siblings & their progeny together for a portrait this summer. I probably would have had more fun trying to corral tadpoles. Things that went wrong included: One sister forgetting to wear shoes. Another one showing up in jeans and having to buy a dressier outfit. A photographer whose English was VERY limited. A brother who glowered through 3/4 of the pictures. And, of course, now that you can preview the pictures, getting all of us to agree that we had finally taken a good one was ridiculous. And my mom wants us to update it "yearly, would be nice." :SHUDDER:
Posted by: NTE | November 14, 2006 7:44 AM
At first I thought you were talking about S. Also, I don't remember the last time my family has taken a picture. Maybe two Christmas' ago when our family friend dressed up as Santa. It's sad really.
Posted by: Emily | November 14, 2006 10:57 AM
The above is going to be my Thanksgiving. But replace the Mom with a Dad. And there's a lot of shiraz involved.
Should be fun.
Posted by: Heather B. | November 14, 2006 11:34 AM
Last time we had a family photo we were all disappointed when the photos came back. "I thought we were better looking," my Mom said.
Posted by: Pamela | November 14, 2006 2:17 PM
I've got a good picture of my dog and cat laying on my bed, does that count?
Posted by: Sally McGrath | November 14, 2006 2:50 PM
Heather Anne, I have a picture like that.
Jennie, if by FIERCE you mean they should have a reality show then YES. Very yes.
NTE, don't you wonder how magazines always seem to get such choice pictures of families?
Emily, what about that picture with all fifty of you in the bathtub?
B., doesn't shiraz make it all better?
Pamela, that's how I felt when I got my senior picture proofs back. I have since found photographers who will work with my every single damn request until I get a picture I like. (Thanks, guys.)
Sally, that totally counts. Are they wearing matching sweaters?
Posted by: Abigail | November 14, 2006 3:40 PM