Greetings, from the Panera parking lot.
I am here, 100 miles away from where I live, sitting in my car blogging because if I don't I WON'T GET THE FREE STUFF. And nothing, NOTHING, is more important to me that free stuff. Except the Hoagies.
You: Wow, what a beautiful segue-way.
Me: Thanks.
Also, thanks for nominating me, all. I'm a finalist in the super best writing category. But Jill and Kat write super bester, so I'm just going to go for the pity vote here.
Why you should vote for me (A Tale):
I go to the same gas station always. Every Thursday morning (payday) I take my car to "US GASOLINE" to fill up, grab an orange juice and pack of chocolate-iced doughnuts, and wash my windows.
I like US GASOLINE because it's independently-owned and because I think they would clear my smog test for me even if I didn't pass. And because it's usually cheaper than everywhere else. And because it's the closest gas station to my house.
So today I ventured there to fill up my tank before my trip south to visit my family. I had a killer headache which is a direct result of my office chair situation because, you know, I move the chair six inches and all of a sudden my whole body has revolted. So, I have my killer headache and I go inside to get some drugs and some bottled water and a Kit Kat and lo and behold! There is nothing inside but empty racks. Empty racks everywhere!
So I ask the dude who owns US GASOLINE what is up? Where is all the food? (I totally should know his name since we are BFF but we're the kind of BFF that surpasses language. Yup.)
And he tells me,
"I got into a little bit of trouble with the health department."
Uh huh. My gas station got into trouble with the health department. So not a good sign. Then I asked him if he had any sort of painkiller, cause that's not a food, right? And he gestures at the measly rack behind him. The only thing on the rack?
Condoms.
Uh huh.
See? I need the pity vote.
Comments
well, i wandered over here from the hoagies and you certainly merit a "super best writing" nomination, if not "super duper best writing." but i'm withholding my vote until all the offers come in. democracy for sale and all that.
Posted by: bookfraud | November 8, 2006 8:42 AM
I totally want some chocolate-iced donuts now.
Posted by: Jennie | November 8, 2006 9:05 AM
HAHAHA.
Business Cat: "The world not function with no condoms"
Posted by: Aakanksha | November 8, 2006 1:11 PM
Sweetie, it was just wonderful spending the evening with you. I loved the dinner laughter exchange! And I'm still cruising on the endorphins.
The Old California Coffee House is definitely the wifi spot. Niiiiiiiiice patio and good prices... and really good pastries.
Love, momma
Posted by: sally | November 8, 2006 1:40 PM
Bookfraud, is democracy for sale? Cause I thought I bought it last year and have been keeping it under my mattress. You know, cause the interest rates are so high.
Jennie, don't try to buy them at US GASOLINE. They only have condoms.
Aaks, Business Cat, being made of marzipan is no longer permitted at US GASOLINE. Sorry, Business Cat.
Sally, isn't free wifi the best?
Posted by: Abigail | November 8, 2006 7:30 PM
Oh I am such an underachiever this week. Thanks for the link. I feel like a loser for not thinking of doing that! You are super duper as well, and I look forward to catching up on all those lovely letters.
Posted by: Jill | November 8, 2006 8:22 PM
NEVER good when the gas station is in trouble with the HEALTH department.
NEVER.
*shudders*
Posted by: s@bd | November 8, 2006 9:17 PM
Jill, thanks! And I'm an under-achiever too. I've hardly gotten around the blogs this week.
Shannon, exactly!
Posted by: Abigail | November 8, 2006 11:17 PM