You know what would go well with this ring? Diamond shoes!
Heather came home from Hawaii a couple weeks ago with a little blue box ("That's the best one!") and a big silver ring. From Tiffany's. It was a gift for graduation, much like Carolyn's pearl necklace from her rich relatives. And suddenly my Target earrings just weren't good enough.
"Your standard of living has gone up," Kathy explained. "Like before, I was perfectly fine shopping at Old Navy and then one day I realized that everything would be perfectly perfect if I shopped at Banana Republic. You gotta adjust for the changes life sends your way."
So today when we went shopping in Old Pasadena and I discovered a Tiffany's, I insisted that we had to go in. Kathy asked me, "Are you gonna get something?" like when we're thinking about getting dessert after dinner. Like haha, you wouldn't actually be getting something.
Then she paused, looked at me, and said, "I don't think it's a good idea."
"Kathy," I said, "stuff there costs like a million dollars. We can't accidentally spend a million dollars."
So we confidently marched in and we were wearing heels so I mean, perhaps they might have taken us seriously. And as we perused I watched Kathy start to look at things seriously. I mean SERIOUSLY. I asked her what she was doing and she looked it me and said, "I'm thinking about accidentally buying that necklace."
It was beautiful and all diamonds-and-white-gold and I looked at her and she was SERIOUS.
"Kathy! You can't accidentally spend FIFTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS!"
"I can if I split it between two credit cards."
I looked at her again.
"WHAT!?" she glared back. "My boyfriend is moving TWO THOUSAND MILES AWAY. I NEED that necklace!"
So we left and went to Forever 21 where we bought a million chunky necklaces and Kathy got several shirts that invoked her to say, "this is good for Kathy" whenever she put them on.
So I've put off the jewelry dream for now but I'm gonna have to live up to the new standard of living soon and when a super long Hummer stretch limo pulled out in front of our house today I thought my time had come.
Alas it was for the smarmy neighbors. A few minutes later another truck pulled up with two Sea-Doos.
I'm gonna have to buy a boat.
Comments
how many credit cards would you have to put the boat on? maybe you guys (y'all) could go in together.
Posted by: heather anne | July 22, 2006 7:14 PM
I wish I didn't have to work.
And DON'T DO IT. Rather, find a friend who HAS a boat and go with. Learn how to be the perfect guest! Put one of those "floating things" on your key chain.
Posted by: Sally McGrath | July 23, 2006 7:26 AM
i once went to tiffany's and tried on a $289K (!) ring. they had to call a security guard over before they'd even take it out of the case.
Posted by: kat | July 23, 2006 9:29 AM
I have two things from Tiffany's, both of which -- I think -- are probably in the bottom percentile at the store, in terms of cost. Ahh, well.
Posted by: sandra | July 24, 2006 11:16 PM
Keeping up with the Joneses?
Posted by: Jenn | July 25, 2006 9:56 AM
I watch "Breakfast at Tiffany's" at least once a year, with Priscilla when possible. I don't know why ... it doesn't get old. Please don't let them revoke my masculinity.
By the way: I'm back. No names in public, please. :)
Posted by: S | July 26, 2006 6:34 AM
(janice voice) Oh. My. God. You're back!
In other news, I'd blog but I've been busy getting jabbed with IVs lately because it's a million degrees. Good times.
Posted by: Abigail | July 26, 2006 9:44 AM
OH MY GOSH.
I am so excited.
I love Ess.
Posted by: Amanda Mae | July 26, 2006 2:09 PM
I'm pretty excited because I think I know who "Essss" is!!!
How are you feeling, Sweetcakes (Abigail, not S)?
Posted by: Sally McGrath | July 27, 2006 6:53 AM
holy shit you're funny.
Posted by: bloggadocio | October 26, 2006 12:10 PM