Making your way in the world today takes everything you got
"Where have you been?"
I had wandered into my local Starbucks after a week long hiatus. I had been tied up at work with phone calls and meetings and I had been getting enough adrenaline from those that I had hardly thought about coffee.
Besides, the less I spend at Starbucks, the more I have to take care of things like debt and the IRS.
I hesitated, deciding whether or not to launch into this speech or to make something up. Before I can tell them that I put them all on probation because Brandon actually forgot my name three weeks ago, the barista interrupted my thoughts.
"YOU'RE CHEATING ON US!"
Huh? What? I looked around, checking to see if anyone had heard this humiliating accusation.
"No, no, no, I wouldn't do that." They were getting jealous of my job. Quick recovery, quick recovery, quick recovery. She interrupted my thoughts again.
"I know that the new store is fancier and has new art and a bar that you can sit at but THEY'RE NOT US."
Ohhhh, a new store had opened right down the street recently. Man, I should check it out. They have a bar? And it is closer to my house.
"Oh, no, no, no," I assured them. "That's not why, I haven't even been there yet. I am totally loyal to you guys. I've just been busy. Don't worry, I would never cheat. Besides I can't walk to other one from my office. This place is so close I could string an IV drip from my office."
There was a huge sigh of relief. And then I heard Meg Ryan in my head say that big bad Fox Books can just go to (hell). And I looked around for my canvas bag and where was George? Buying candles to make his apartment smell mossy?
I finally checked out the new Starbucks the other night. It's walking distance from my house. (Really, my whole life is on this one city block. I get really bad gas mileage.) And the bar is really cool and they have a bulletin board with "neighborhood" announcements.
But the announcements were just customers writing notes about how the new Starbucks was better. And I felt guilty reading them and I felt guilty drinking my coffee and I felt guilty sitting at the bar.
I'll stick with standard. Besides, they almost always remember my name.
Appendix A
Comments
Now this is totally unfair. A 15 minute train ride followed a 20 minute walk brings me to the nearest Starbucks. :(
Posted by: Aakanksha | April 18, 2006 5:57 AM
I don't even drink coffee and I love Starbucks (Mocha Frappaccinos are a dangerous addiction). Almost as bad as Tequila. See you Saturday.
Posted by: Dustin | April 18, 2006 6:55 AM
I sell expensive coffee, I do. Sue me.
Posted by: heather anne | April 18, 2006 7:39 AM
I was eloquent. SHIT.
Posted by: Abigail | April 18, 2006 7:41 AM
I said we were a GODDAMNED PIAZZA!
Posted by: Heather Nicole | April 18, 2006 8:59 AM
Abigail your Starbucks habit is really just a mask for your poor decision-making ability. You just go there just so you can make six decisions to order one cup of coffee. So now when it comes to a bigger life questions -- which Starbucks to choose -- you'll be utterly lost and coffeeless.
Posted by: Emily | April 18, 2006 10:55 AM
This post made me laugh, Abigail friend! You are too cute. =)
Posted by: Holly | April 18, 2006 11:41 AM
Oh, god...I'm totally sympathetic! I have been avoiding my old Starbucks for a year now, after running into three of my regular baristas the night of my birthday and accidentally drinking all of one of their drinks (he apparently offered me a sip...I misunderstood). I am terrified to go back in, for fear that they'll know I've been getting my caffeine on elsewhere.
Posted by: sandra | April 18, 2006 12:54 PM